Friday, September 28, 2012

"You must have been a real bitch in a past life"...

... said my friend to me this week.  Real friends know exactly how to make us smile. No gushing sympathy... which actually makes me feel really uncomfortable  - what exactly are you supposed to say when someone says "oh you must feel soooooooooooo awful" or "I feel sooooooooo sorry for you"?  I feel a strange compunction to reassure them that actually not being able to use my right arm isn't that bad; or talk about how I'm practically ambidextrous now; or stand rather awkwardly not saying anything at all while they look at me with "the head tilt" (remember Friends?!), they fuss a bit.... then usually they reach in for the hug, say they'll only hug me on the good side, and then reach around and continuously pat me on the broken scapula/ surgical site.

 I know, it's all very well-intentioned, and I very much appreciate it... BUT being told I was a bitch in a past life was refreshingly funny! And most importantly, it made me laugh!  There's nothing like laughing with a fabulous friend..... it should be considered therapy!

It's been a pretty rubbish couple of weeks.  I had some intense pain in my shoulder, burning in my upper arm, hard lumps appeared in the bicep/tricep area, my movement - even the "easy" stuff I was doing became much sorer.... last weekend I was seriously worried. I felt like I had a bad flu that somehow connected to my sore arm. I couldn't stand up for very long without getting dizzy - not just a little bit dizzy, proper spinning, even with my eyes shut; dizzy still when lying flat on my back and that was accompanied by nausea... combined with my 'usual'.  I had some blood work done and am waiting on the results of that.  Maybe it will show something helpful.

If not, it seems that it is the pain causing these symptoms/ incidents.  It really just feels like my body is saying "I've had enough of this pain and  I need to sleep. I don't seem to have a real say in this!! It just happens.  Ugh.

It has definitely been a time to live in the moment and not think too far ahead (sometimes dinner is too far ahead!) because, honestly, if I try to think too much right now I'd go crazy.  This is very much a step-by-step approach.  I don't know how I'm going to feel from day to day, or week to week.  It feels impossible to plan things right now.

In other news, we are moving house tomorrow.  My Mum has been like superwoman again! I have really been close to useless in packing/ lifting/ carrying anything! My Dad's been working a lot so she's packed most stuff herself.  My Dad's been helping move some boxes to the new house this week and had a few guys from work who very kindly spent some time helping yesterday packing and unpacking the van my Dad hired.  They got a lot of great stuff moved.

Tomorrow the movers are coming for the furniture and then there will just be some bits and pieces so sort over the weekend.  It's quite exciting! 

It's also my Mum's birthday tomorrow!  I think we'll celebrate over the weekend as tomorrow is going to be a v - e - r - y busy day!

Hopefully it will go smoothly and hopefully next week I'll get my results back and I can move on from there.

In the meantime, let's hope I had a glimmer of nice in my past life that gives me good karma!

“The distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion”

                                ~  Albert Einstein

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