Dr K knew exactly where my pain was, how to describe it, what movements hurt it and what I can/ can't do with it - it was such a breath of fresh air to have a doctor who totally knows what's going on (unfortunately I've had that same feeling before!). He thinks my rhomboids and lower trapezius muscles need to be reattached. This is done by drilling pairs of holes in the scapula and sewing the muscles back to the bone through the holes. I then have to be immobilized for a month to allow it to heal.
He said patients with this problem can be some of the most disabled he sees. He said the pain levels just get overwhelming and the lack of function is difficult to handle. He made a comment about being tough and I said I used to think I was tough before I had this but he said I am tough, because it has been tough to get to here. That really made me feel so much better - I had a doctor in Edinburgh tell me that I was "overly focussed" on the pain and that I should just "learn to live with it" - terrible advice from a doctor. Today I was told I wan't the first person with that kind of story... Today I was tough!
Is it really acceptable that there are doctors out there that we have to trust with our lives, and they continue to behave in such a manner? Just now I am lucky enough to see a fantastic doctor and I am quite happy about putting my life in his hands in his OR tomorrow; but I find it sad that there are other doctors who do not uphold the same care, compassion, and professional standards....
It seems you just have to get lucky........ and do we really want excellent healthcare treatment by good dotors to boil down to luck?
As for me right now, the pain in the area of the detachment should improve very quickly but it is difficult to know how the other pain will be affected right now. A lot of my pain comes from the fact my scapula is not in the right place - the muscles are not holding it in place so other muscles are having to work harder and being pulled tighter and they are shortening through my inability to use them. In addition it is possible there is another tear in another muscle (latissimus dorsi) which will hopefully heal when it is not being pulled into the "wrong" place.
So there is still a lot that will become apparent tomorrow and then over time as things heal but surgery is the first step on the road to recovery and I am actually feeling excited that it is going to be repaired. I may feel more nervous than excited tomorrow when I wake up though. And that might not be helped by no food or water ... or PAINKILLERS! for 10 and a half hours, or longer. Ugh!
Quote of the day... one of my favourites and very apt!
“You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.”
~ Friedrich Nietzsche
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