I am not really very good at blogging... I keep forgetting to do it. And then I'm never really sure what to talk about when I click "new post"... which is unusual for me!
This week has really been about two things: crafting and sleeping, or lack of sleeping actually.
I have started multiple craft projects which I intend to finish before I go home to Scotland - a quilt, many cushion covers, pillow cases (to match the quilt), handmade cards, multiple jewellery projects, my gardening... and I'm sure I have a few more on my list as well. I think I may have been a little over-ambitious although I am making progress.
My main obstacle is actually my complete and total inability to use a sewing machine - although I am improving each day. However I have not gone back to it since it attacked my finger a couple of days ago... that was momentarily terrifying as I felt a pain in my finger, instinctively shut my eyes, took my foot off the pedal and pulled my hand away before tentatively opening my eyes to view the carnage. Thankfully there wasn't really any carnage - and more thankfully no blood all over my nice new quilt! - the damage seemed to have been contained inside the lovely blood blister that had formed, decorated by a nice purple bruise. It was definitely sorer than it looks. I'm really sure the machine hates me.
All of last week I was tortured by insomnia. After putting my light out around midnight each night I tossed and turned for several hours, feeling so tired and wanting nothing more than to fall into a deep sleep but it just didn't happen (despite trying every sleeping tablet/ herb - and combination - that I could think of). It was at least 7am several nights (/ mornings) in a row before I managed to fall asleep. I kept thinking I should just get up at 7am but I was SO tired, and I did manage to sleep for several hours after that. It's easy to think then that was messing up my sleeping pattern, but after sleeping until about 2pm, it would get to 9pm and I was just SO tired again so every night I thought, I have to sleep tonight.
It just didn't happen, so on Saturday night I stayed up all night. Fuelled by several cups of coffee I stayed up and worked on craft projects all night (I avoided the sewing machine, sleepiness and that machine would definitely be a disaster). The hardest part was actually staying awake all day Sunday, but I (barely) managed and was asleep by 8.30pm Sunday night. I slept until 4am and then - still feeling tired - tossed and turned for several hours before falling asleep again around 8am for a few hours. I still didn't really feel rested when I woke. Then the next night it was 1am, then 2am, last night 3am and I am really hoping I fall asleep before that tonight (it's already almost 1am).
My body clock seems to be on a totally different time zone. My doctor reckons somewhere in Alaska. I do kind of wonder if I went there, would it stay on its current time zone, or mess me up even more?!
Ultimately, I think this is all connected to the fact I have been off the antibiotics for a month. My stomach is feeling much better, but I think the optimistic idea that perhaps I would be finished with the antibiotics for good was a little, well, optimistic.
I do feel this month has been kind of horrendous. I think the insomnia has really exacerbated everything, but my energy levels have been quite low again and lots of aches and pains and odd sensations are back. In one way I'm just really annoyed, I can't believe I can just drop this quickly with no antibiotics... however, the good thing is that I have now tried to stop them while I am here, with my Lyme doctor close by and that it is easy to start them up again (and hopefully easy to get back to where I was a few weeks ago as well). It would have been much worse to be dealing with this when I am back home and have far more to be dealing with then.
Fingers crossed the next few weeks see some massive re-improvement.