Monday, May 14, 2018

Tick Awareness

Lyme disease awareness

This year is proving to be a tough one. Treatment is working, but energy levels (& computer tolerance levels... eyes, concentration, headaches) are low.

A few awareness points for 2018...

The CDC actually released these images on social media. 

How many ticks can you find on the poppy seed muffin?



Clue: there are 5 (yes FIVE) ticks on this muffin. 


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Have you found them all?

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Scroll down for the 'reveal'.

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Look closely - can you see the legs? 

Would you find them on yourself...? Or on your child, or your pet? Ticks are tiny - they can be as tiny as this full stop ➡ .

Know how to remove ticks if you live in an area with ticks. (That's across the UK now - search 'The Big Tick Project' for updated tick maps produced by Bristol University. Remember mapped ticks are only from voluntary reporting by vets.)

Most hiking and outdoors stores sell tick removal tools - the easiest way to remove these tiny ticks. Importantly - never squash or smother a tick, always make sure you remove it by its mouthparts, and make sure no part is left in. See your GP if you are bitten and make a note of the new NICE guidelines (for England & Wales) in terms of how any tick bite should be treated.

Prevention is better than cure - wear repellent. 

Also, remember,  we don't actually have a cure, so speedy treatment is essential! 

#LymeDiseaseAwareness

Saturday, May 5, 2018

MAY is Lyme Disease awareness month

Lyme disease awareness

This year is proving to be a tough one. Treatment is working, but energy levels (& computer tolerance levels... eyes, concentration, headaches) are low.

A few awareness points for 2018...

All around us dangers wait,
Worse than any thriller:
Somewhere hidden in a field
There lurks a cereal killer.
~Simon Andrew

While this is an amusing little play on words about field mice - spotted in a local eatery, south of Edinburgh, of course my mind went to the hidden 'serial killer' - also hiding in fields... and in mice: TICKS! Mice make good hosts for ticks. They offer food, heat, and usually find themselves a cozy home for the winter - ticks are brought into our homes and gardens by pets and other small mammals or birds. 

Always remember to TICK CHECK yourself, kids, and pets when you have been outside - hiking, or simply playing in your own garden.



And while wordplay is fun under artistic licence, it IS important to know the name of the disease:
LYME disease
or
LYME BORRELIOSIS

Names are important: to be taken seriously, it is important that the medical community, and the general community do know the correct term.

Share what you know, you could save someone's life.

#LymeDiseaseAwareness




Wednesday, February 28, 2018

Rare disease day... the perfect date!


Today (Feb 28th) is Rare Disease Day - it also happens to be exactly 6 years ago since I had my scapular muscle reattachment surgery (very rare! I was the 270th person in the world to have the surgery, performed by the surgeon who created it & was the only surgeon performing it in 2012). It was the first step on what is still a long journey of rehab & recovery.

(N.B. I will try to fix these photos at some point, my photo editing programme on my tablet kept stopping; they do show my dimmed screen.... explained below. Not deliberate!)


'Shoulder stuff'


I write this as I am infusing IV antibiotics into the PICC line I've now had for 9 months to treat Lyme Disease - another rare disease... or under-diagnosed, even Google is a bit confused here: 


??????????????????????

Newest Lyme treatment - hard-going, but I think I am slowly...
tentatively... making some good progress


In the past 6 years, following my shoulder surgery, as we 'peeled back the layers of the onion'; I've seen many doctors, surgeons, physiotherapists &  other medical practitioners. I've been given various other rare diagnoses including Thoracic Outlet Syndrome & Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS/ RSD).  All from a simple slip on the stairs, 'saving myself' as my body weight hung and torqued from one arm - my once-strong arms, wrecked by several years of severe illness, combined with still-hyperflexible shoulders was a bad combination. On my list of identified injuries (suspected incomplete), some chronic or ongoing, others transient: 'inferior shoulder dislocation' (0.5% of shoulder dislocations) - my arm stuck up in the air, still holding the railing about 3 inches higher than I can actually reach. One physiotherapist summed it up best: "if you didn't have skin, you'd have ripped your arm off."  Some other injuries that occurred in that split second: brachial plexopathy & 'overstretching' injuries to my entire upper right side nerve network; various muscle tears, pulls & strains; other soft tissue damage, including damage to my fascia; & bone injuries, including a scapular fracture (they account for <5% of fractures, just FYI). So dear every doctor I may see in my life - if you hear hooves, think freaking unicorn!!


Photo excuse: sometimes being ill means being stuck in bed.
(I did not seek this out for this post!! I did play with silly Facebook filters. 😜)


Just to reinforce this point, in case it needed it, I've started to sweat in colour... neon yellow and light orange, specifically. I'm pretty sure it's linked with my nerve injury, which can cause very localized sweating; although initially I guessed it was perhaps linked to medication - nope! When I eventually decided to ask another crazy question neither my mum (in her professional capacity), my doctor, nor my PT had ever heard of it.  Although the response now is 'of course you probably have it... if it's a thing' ... And guess what?! It is. It has a name: 'chromhydrosis'  (the linguist in me would like another vowel in there).  I hadn't even turned to Google, it seemed so ridiculous; a PT student searched for it and my PT laughed (maybe with kind exasperation?!) as he read "very rare, incidence unknown". So, UNICORN!!


Added to the messy shoulder + Lyme mix has been post-concussion syndrome (/'minor traumatic brain injury' - 'minor' refers only to the amount of time spent unconscious /disoriented); a delayed diagnosis, but caused by my car accident 2+ years ago when my tyre blew out at 70mph and my car did an actual side somersault. Isn't my karma fantastic?! Urgh!  I haven't really talked much about that. I don't think I've written about it on here at all.  It's hard to think about, honestly; but getting some answers I didn't know I was looking for, and realising things I didn't know I'd been thinking (/worried) about has taken up a large part of the past few months.  Essentially I spent almost 2 years just trying to 'power through' a brain injury.  The post-concussion treatment I just started last November has been incredibly challenging, but it made me realise I have many head injury symptoms I hadn't even realised were symptoms - and they've been really severely affecting my life. Knowing they can be treated, and seeing some good improvements in some areas already has actually brought me a lot of relief. Not recognising symptoms in yourself is actually a symptom - I think that is a perfect definition of 'headfuck' - in every way!

It's one (huge) reason I've struggled to blog much... or to read, write, or use my laptop - my 'screentime' has been limited to a smaller tablet screen, dimmed, with an app that removes blue light to prevent my headaches hitting the highest intensity. I'm seeing little signs of improvement, so hopefully I can keep that going and get back to writing again.

 Additionally, the accident sparked my major Lyme relapse (not unusual); this really blurred the lines a lot between head injury symptoms, and fatigue & headaches that Lyme disease causes.  There is a lot I need to untangle - physically and figuratively.
  



Ultimately, I am making progress. I'm extremely grateful for the help & support I have, and access to treatment that is working. I'm grateful for the doctors & medics who think outside the box and look for the crazy things when nothing else makes sense. Progress seems slow, but when I think of how things were a year ago, 2 years ago, 6 years ago... I am still moving forward, I am still working hard, and that is all anyone can ever do.

Real progress!
Working a lot on flexibility,  lower body strength,
and increasing my shoulder & arm movements with supported movement 


There are many types of 'rare disease' & they suffer from reduced funding & awareness because they are rare. Diagnosis takes longer, and treatment is often trial and error - I am well aware!  The majority of illnesses are 'invisible illnesses' (or can be hidden); please, where you can, be kind, choose to listen to someone & believe them, even if they 'don't look ill'; support is sometimes the best thing you can offer a friend.









Thursday, November 9, 2017

Perfectly Imperfect

November mindfulness: Day 4 - 'Perfectly imperfect'

Taken from my instagram post:
#mindfulnovember  #perfectlyimperfect  #day4  #mindfulness  #scar  #18staples  #scapularsurgery #scapularmuscledetachment  #shouldersurgery  #myscarmystory  #notoplasticsurgery  #bodyshaming  #lovetheskinyourein  #blogger  #outofthelymelight 


It wasn't difficult to think about what 'perfectly imperfect' made me think of - my scar.... obviously! Although this isn't exactly what I envisioned writing...

Scars are my battle wounds. From injury to surgeries & beyond, they are part of me; they remind me how strong I can be - they are a sign of strength and healing.  I blog to spread awareness of a rare injury; to show anyone can rise to life's challenges; to tell MY story; and hopefully, to help someone else.  Recently I posted images (see picture 4 below) following cupping treatment showing my scar, plus swelling & bruising, as well as a skin reaction to my PICC line dressing adhesive (for Lyme disease IV treatment).   

A plastic surgeon commented under my photo - maybe I would be interested in her 'regime' (which from her instagram page seems to be plastic surgery and botox). My first thought was why is a random doctor commenting on this? Occasionally I've had comments or mesages/ emails specific to my surgery (it remains, over 5 years later, relatively unknown in the world of medicine), but this was different.  I did look on her instagram page - it's filled with very stereotypical photographs and commentaries of facelifts, botox and 'we can 'fix' you'-type stuff. I did not look further on her website, as suggested - I'm not interested, but the bigger implication was: this imperfection could be fixed. 

Not something I have ever thought about, looked for, inquired about, written about, etc.

I'll admit this hit hard.  I have never hesitated in sharing my photos, or talking about my surgery; and I have built relationships and networks with other patients who have contacted me over the past few years. Suddenly I glimpsed it from a different perspective. Why? Does this doctor think I should hide my scars? Is it appropriate for doctors to target other women (or anyone?!) on social media?  Is it ethical? Is 'scar shaming' a thing I've naively avoided thus far? In that initial moment I was stunned: shocked, then quickly I felt angry.  Have I been cyberbullied by a doctor?  I am not ashamed - I blog and post photos of the good, the bad, and the ugly. Reality.  I don't intend to change that.
   

2012-2013
Pre-surgery -> healing over 1 year
(Bottom left, 2014, pre-surgery number 2)


October 2017: post-cupping therapy
October 2017: 1 day after cupping therapy
Can you see my scar?
Can you see my symmetrical scapulae?
I.e. the visible evidence of successful surgery...


Collage from instagram with plastic surgeon's 'innocuous' comment





It's not blatantly nasty, but after looking at the instagram page (with no interest in browsing her website), it's very difficult to draw a different conclusion.  I decided not to reply.  Now, my instagram post, and this expanded blog post is my reply.  It's not a reply to the doctor, it's my reply to anyone with the mindset that any part of the body is imperfect and needs to be 'fixed'.

I was just going to ignore it until I stumbled across this Buzzfeed article about actress Sarah Hyland ('Haley' from Modern Family) the following week. She has a health issue and a magazine published an article speculating she had plastic surgery.  Buzzfeed relayed her response (via twitter) to the magazine where she (rightly) raged at doctors speculating over her 'potential surgeries' and made clear the 'changes to her face' they were commenting on (there's another controversial topic on its own.... how about people just stop doing that?) were the result of "life saving medication".  (I don't usually read celebrity news/ gossip, but apparently she has suffered with kidney disease since childhood and it was not 'new information'.)  The timing was serendipitous.


I may not be famous, I may not have much 'reach' with my comments or my blog; but I think it is every bit as important for anyone, whether targeted publicly or quietly, like this, to stand up and say this is NOT OK.  If one person reads this and takes away that message, then it is worth saying. 

And, FYI, my scar looks fucking awesome. My PT says it looks just like a plastic surgeon did it. 😏

31 Dec 2014: Shoulder surgery 2 - capsular release

March 2012:  <2 weeks post surgery
End of March 2012: 1 month post-surgery

Incision healing progress March 2012 -> March 2013


   "The scar meant that I was stronger than 
what had tried to hurt me." 
~ Anaïs Nin ~


Sunday, November 5, 2017

November Mindfulness: Comfortable

November Mindfulness: Day 3 'Comfortable'

I think this really speaks for itself, but for a brief explanation of the most comfortable 'bed nest' in the world:

Back/periscapular muscles spasm causing horrible, lasting pain (talking over a week of heightened pain here) & a very unhappy body...

Nurse: Don't sleep on that arm [with the PICC line in it]
Physio: Don't sleep on that shoulder if it's compressing nerves
Body: .............. OUCH! Can't sleep.... 😱!!!!

Insomnia driven brain = best creative ideas EVER.

😴

Comfortable
#bednest #pillowfort #icepacks

I literally put the cushion back on the chair 3 days in a row and ended up hauling it back to my bed in the middle of the night again.  It's been back on the chair for several days now and my bed no longer looks like a nest.  Every night since, I have stared at it and wondered if I'd be sleeping already if it was back on my bed....


"Insomnia is my greatest inspiration."

~ Jon Stewart ~



November Mindfulness: Nourished

November Mindfulness: Day 2 'Nourished'

Unsurprisingly, I'm playing catch up on day 2.... I took the photos, planned the posts... not sure I have a reasonable excuse for not even uploading a photo!

'Nourished' did make me think a little bit more deeply about what true nourishment means just now. Yes, I eat well (even with the 'good' dark, organic, low sugar chocolate... mostly); I can't drink any alcohol because it would prevent antibiotics from working; I drink loads of water & herbal teas; I take various supplements - some antimicrobial, or ones that work in some way to complement the antimicrobial action of medications/ herbs, and others to boost antioxidants and aid in detoxing my body as it (hopefully) is so exhausted because it's clearing out nasty, twisted (ha ha... Lyme jokes) spirochetes.  But that didn't really feel like it went very deep - it was too literal, so I think this collage better represents how I 'nourish' myself right now.


'Nourished'
#herbaltea #organicchocolate #cactusgarden #breathe #ifyoucandreamityoucandoit #butterlies
#justwhenthecaterpillarthoughttheworldwasoveritbecameabutterfly
#somepursuehappinessotherscreateit #art #myart #arttherapy #flowers #candles



There is tea (green tea, ginger tea, matcha tea, turmeric tea, kava tea, 'breathe deep' tea, 'throat coat' tea, 'bedtime' tea, milk thistle tea, fruity teas, fruity green teas, minty teas.... basically everything except 'real' tea - British and I dislike tea.... I've got the healthy ones though & I think that's what counts here!) - all with the obligatory hipster(hippy?)-but-I-love-it tea bag tags offering a dose of philosophical existentialism a few times a day, and some amazingly tasty coffee-chocolate from our local health food store.... no, my diet's not perfect, but I TRY!!  

More representative of how I 'nourish' (/boost/ motivate/ pick a synonym) myself are all the little things I surround myself with. I like to look around me and feel the little boost I get from these things I've inadvertently collected or created over the years.  I find this in quotes, art, plants (although I fear they might really be struggling for light now the clocks have gone back, unless they can get on board with my personal Lyme-time-zone), books, scented candles, special cards, my piano, (a million) notebooks, paints, pencils, pens, sketchbooks (different from notebooks), colouring books and a variety of my own creations.  Lots of little things that make me smile, make me think, or remind me how much I enjoyed creating them.  Some are clear messages - and perhaps the reason I've sworn at 'cheerful' inanimate objects on the odd occasion; some are things I have spent valuable time and energy (and spoons) creating myself - painting, drawing, planting....  Creativity is truly a form of escapism and is probably where I find mindfulness best.  And even if some objects seem irrationally annoying on bad days, most of the time they serve their purpose and remind me to focus on the positive.



Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become a reality.

~ Earl Nightingale ~


Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Mindful November


I had this plan to try to really focus on my blog this month. A project, a post a day - something to aim for, however small it may seem. My health seems to be dominating everything right now, and making it a thousand times more difficult to be even the slightest bit productive… or organised, or tidy, or really 'functional' on a daily basis.  It feels like I am either at some form of medical appointment, most often physical therapy; infusing my medications or flushing my PICC line; or sleeping.

I thought taking photographs would be an easier way to set a realistic goal, and then I came across this 'MindfulNovember' on instagram so adding a little bit of guidance and ready-made inspiration seems like a good combo! Plus actively employing some mindfulness everyday has  to be beneficial.





"Mindfulness is to keep our consciousness alive to present reality"    
~ Thich Nhat Hanh ~